Getting out of bed this morning seemed to be an act of courage and hope. Subsequently, my morning started with a lying down meditation by Dr Joe Dispenza. While I was lying awake dreaming my other dreams, only his words of ‘Come back to me’ could bring me back to the generous present moment.
I have been meditating daily for the past year and solemnly swear that most of this time I spent wondering whether I am doing it right. If I am in the moment. Thinking about thousands of other things that need doing. Wondering what the kids should eat for dinner and planning my exercise routine at the gym.
Of course, there were moments of intense deep connection to something way greater than myself. There have been tears of gratitude, joy and sadness. There were moments when I realized that there is nothing lacking and the entire world belongs to me. But those moments were few and far between. My mind was constantly seeking, searching, asking, knocking and demanding.
The Changes Meditation Brought
However, realising all these failures made me reflect on how different my life has become. Of course, the changes in my environment were directly or indirectly caused by my spiritual journey. However, the most important change took place within my soul.
Gone were the mornings where gripped by anxiety and fear, I would stand in the kitchen preparing breakfast for the kids. The times of social gatherings which left me crippled in self-doubt. The anger that would manifest itself within me and conquer each and every part of my body. I realised standing in the kitchen this morning that I was free. That I was strong. I realised that I trusted my gut far more than my head which has not yet figured many things out.
However, the best and most meaningful thing that happened to me is the sense of belonging and participation. The difficulties in my life did not destroy me, they just helped me to realize that my purpose was to be useful, compassionate and truthful.
Meditation has been a very big part of this transformation.
How did meditation change your life? ….. Or have you yet to try it?